person 1 : “What makes you think that I am not listening. Do you want me to repeat what I heard”?
person 2: “Not really. I KNOW you are not listening even if you repeat what I said”!
person 1: “I give up”!
Real listening leaves a sense of being heard! Real listening involves knowing what is important for the speaker at that moment. A listener listens for the feelings and needs and thoughts expressed without any interference of any kind. Unless invited by the speaker.
When you listen; Are you really listening to the other person or are you immediately directing the conversation back to yourself to tell them your opinion, stories, feelings and needs?
Are you really listening or are you judging what the other person as good idea/bad idea?
Are you really listening or are you jumping in to fix, analyze, philosophize, psychologize, spiritualize, or bull-shitifize what you are hearing?
Are you really listening to the other person without inserting yourself into what is said?
For most people, the art of listening is a lost art. Let’s face it. It is true!
YET, the need to being heard is the secret to the continuation of any relationship.