Rediscover the lost art of listening

person 1 : “What makes you think that I am not listening. Do you want me to repeat what I heard”?

person 2: “Not really. I KNOW you are not listening even if you repeat what I said”!

person 1: “I give up”!

Real listening leaves a sense of being heard!  Real listening involves knowing what is important for the speaker at that moment.  A listener listens for the feelings and needs and thoughts expressed without any interference of any kind. Unless invited by the speaker.

When you listen; Are you really listening to the other person or are you immediately directing the conversation back to yourself to tell them your opinion, stories, feelings and needs?

Are  you really listening or are you judging what the other person as good idea/bad idea?

Are you really listening or are you jumping in to fix, analyze, philosophize, psychologize, spiritualize, or bull-shitifize what you are hearing?

Are you really listening to the other person without inserting yourself into what is said?

For most people, the art of listening is a lost art. Let’s face it. It is true!

YET, the need to being heard is the secret to the continuation of any relationship.

Try it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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2 thoughts on “Rediscover the lost art of listening

  1. I am in Need of Re-discovering the art of Listening. I find myself analyzing what I think I ‘heard’ wanting to know the ‘why’ and ‘how’. I don’t often care to ‘fix’ anyone’s problems because I don’t want to be blamed when things go ‘wrong’. It takes Empathy to really Listen to someone and hear the emotions and not necessarily the words.

    • It does take empathy. It also takes reprogramming our mind in a different way. Easier said than done. Your awareness of wanting to analyze what you heard and wanting to know why and how, etc. is the first important step. The next step is to bring yourself to focus on the feelings and needs of the other person until they are heard.

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